Dreams too HURT me

“Since the day I hugged her the first time, my life has changed its course so much”, I murmured to myself. It was a cold winter night; outside the wind was chilling and the streets almost dead but only few dogs making out for their might night supper. I was just standing by my window to get a breath of the cool air that blew past me blowing my long hair past my gloomy face. Numerous thoughts ran through my mind and triggered a little headache. So I went over my bed take a break from those painful memories that hurt like hell.

Few years my friends used to discuss their feeling when they fell in love and more over I didn’t consider those as feelings but as the signs and symptoms of love. They said, “You start to hate noisy places and stay alone in the corner. You will see the world so unpopulated that only one person exists. Your fear turns into strength. You would visit those places that you hated the most. You turn poetic even if you are the poorest guy in literature. And you think that every romantic song is meant for you only.” And finally I declared myself, I’m in love”.

She came like she was made for me in heaven with a sign board written “I’m born for you”. . She always used to tell me she misses me so much I was not around. I gave everything a girl expects from a boy but I wasn’t that good looking as her ex-boyfriend. Sometimes i felt she was the only girl that I was searching till date but it did not go as I thought. We used visit those places that I have never seen in my days while I was staying in that town for past five years. It made me feel I too posses something that no one did. One fine day I told her a smile lie just to test her love towards me and this is what guys usually do this days. I told her that someone from my high school proposed me and she broke down into tears that it took me an hour to wipe away. Then I realized she did really love me but didn’t know to what extent.

Days and months flew like the fast flowing river water that runs downhill. And there came a day when she was standing in front of me with the same sign board that she brought when she came in my life but the word seemed changed. It read something like this if I could read her mind, “Now get lost please.” Waah! What a joke that life played with me sometimes and I was so blinded by her huge lies which I came to know when the sign board she brought had changed. My strength to do my daily job reduced such that if I had plotted a graph it would have gone to the negative side. I was emotionally broken into pieces when she said, “We can still be friend”. I just nodded to her words and left the place before my drama started. Few days later I stepped into the bar to get rid of her face that poked my heart every now and then. But that too didn’t help me anymore so I was feeling short of breaths.

And exactly at that moment when I was running out of breath my I shouted, “Help me god, I want to live more”. My mate gave a nice slap on my exposed back that I got my breaths back. I was still lying on my bed and that was just a dream that I dreaded to think of it again. Ah! It was 2:00 AM when I grabbed my cell to see if I had missed any calls. My mate scolded me for disturbing his sleep and we both laughed aloud and went back to sleep. There I lay on my bed thinking. “Was that true what I saw jus in my dream?” “Is it related to my life in anyways?” “Did it really happen to me exactly what it happened in the dream?”It exhausted my brain and I went into deep sleep without answering my own questions again.

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